One more tour, fellas

It's something I've grown to be more uncomfortable every year, but if we don't do it our members will think something is wrong with upper management. And it's not the jet lag or the crappy airport food that bothers me. What irks me about our annual tour is the constant reminders that we have to share with our business units, much like a father visiting his offsprings and having to teach them that excessive partying does not pave the way for a successful life.

I've talked to Serge about having a different kind of annual tour, where business unit leaders would visit ME instead of me touring the fucking world. I mean, did the King of France or England take the time to tour his country every year? No, all the Lords had to visit the king and disclose their financial performance and strategy to increase state revenues. Kings had to build huge war chests, I have to increase available cash and credit line to pursue more acquisitions. Kings chopped the heads of those who disagreed, I simply write a pink slip.

Serge being a sentimental guy, he likes to tour the world and have a good time. Me, I'd rather stay home crunching numbers.

So we agreed to crisscross the globe one more time, but we'll spend more time in U.S. cities where our newly acquired members from Stanley will build profitable growth. We need to be on the same page when it comes to expenses, and this is where my pen is mightier than the sword of the Kind of England. Yankees have this perspective of a French Canadian company where we enjoy the good life and have a very laid back approach. La joie de vivre, they say.

How little they know me.

Our annual tour is more like an annual crusade, where we restore financial control and HR discipline - German style - throughout the company. We inquire about why a particular business unit ranks below our financial objective, and if the explanations do not make sense - they rarely do - we sack the management team on the spot. Internally, we call this an Operation London Tower. If a business unit meets or exceeds the financial objectives, we congratulate them (briefly) and then we grill them on their plan to surpass themselves for the next fiscal year.

Now that you increased your revenues by 15%, you need to achieve 20% more next year. Cap your raises to 1%, yet maintain a turnover rate below 5%.

Sometimes, these bastards were just lucky with good market timing and they camouflage luck with their inflated capabilities, my sixth sense is quickly able to part bull from real talent. A market downturn is not an excuse to show lower revenues, only sissies would do that.

The key is not to have emotions. Those who do can't pursue profitable growth and are marred with difficult situations. Only by shedding all feelings from financial statements can one make an enlighten decision.