Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The flawed role model of Robin Hood

I saw last night the trailer of the upcoming Ridley Scott's movie with Russell Crow, this looks like a very good movie but I'm not sure this folklore character of Robin Hood is a positive role model for our youth at CGI. Let me explain.

Literature says that Robin Hood was a highly skilled archer and swordman as was known for robbing from the rich and giving to the poor. He was assisted by a bunch of fellow outlaws known as the Merry Men.

Of course there has been countless movies and TV series done on these characters, but my all time favorite remain Rocket Robin Hood, a Canadian TV production from the late 60's - Robin Hood was living in year 3000 and had a rocket truster on his back. But his clothes were vintage 15th century. How he managed to fly this thing without getting 3rd degree burns on his bare legs is beyond explanation. But I digress.

Here's my problem with the Robin Hood theme: robbing from the rich is not a very good business strategy. First, you alienate one party to please another (hereafter named "the poor"). One must assume that Robin had to take a cut of at least 10% on each deal, the Merry Men for which he had the responsibility had to fed and entertained. Second, Robin was acting against the law so it's a lot of trouble, he'd have to buy weapons to protect himself and his staff, I'd say the cut was at least 25%. Third, you cannot go public with this kind of business therefore raising money is an issue. Fourth, you create this weird environment where the needy will always knock on your door and ask for more, creating more pressure to steal from the rich. Hey Robin, I'm a little short this week and I'd like to buy this fancy dress for my gorgeous wife, so ya know, could you steal a couple of chicken from that rich guy on the hill? In the long run, Robin Hood would conclude that his business was not a sustainable one and he'd foreclose everything and open a medieval strip club. Simpler and more fun.

If Robin Hood would be a smart man, this is what he would do. He'd call a meeting with the authorities of Sherwood Forest and say, listen guys, I'm pretty much a big admirer of what you guys do really and I think you should up the ante. The Sherwood Forest Sheriff would raise an eyebrow and say, really son? Tell me more. And then Robin Hood would go, you guys are doing things the old school way, you need to document your operational procedures, automate processes and set up a system that would allow you to manage Sherwood taxes more efficiently. Right now it's very hard to forecast what your revenues from next year will look like, no? The sheriff would take a puff from his cigar and look at Robin straight in the eyes, that's right I'd like to know who does what in my fucking organization, it's difficult to trust someone when his responsibilities are vague and money leaks everywhere. If a pearl necklace or a few gold coins disappear from one box, I can't notice really, and this really bugs me. What I'd like to see if some kind of supply management system that would track everything from taxing peasants to my own treasury. I don't know what my headcount is. Say Robin, you want to help me?

And then Robin and the Merry Men would turn themselves into consultants, raking huge fees and living large. His band of brothers would become Sherwood Forest Certified Partners, and the sheriff would grant them a 10-year contract to help him manage his shit. All this would be legal compliant of course, because the farging sheriff sets the law! No more problems for Robin! And he could set the workweek to 45 hours, maintain low paychecks for the Merry Men, and rename the latter the "Merry Members" to enforce a strong emotional bond between the staff and the company. Robin could drop the "Merry" part, too much innuendo. And then Robin could go on an acquisition shopping free thanks to his newly created fortune, taking over badly run outlaw groups and merging everyone into a powerful legal and highly profitable organization.

This is the kind of role model our young people need to be exposed to.

No comments:

Post a Comment