Doublespeak for survival

A good CEO needs to be extremely proficient in the art of managing communications.

Some might say that a thick amount of doubletalk is essential to hide facts while claiming to be transparent, and I can’t disagree. A scientist has to call a molecule a molecule if he wants to be understood by his peers. But as you move up the scale and realize that your choice of words can make or break a situation, you start mastering the fine art of euphemism, and this is where we separate children from adults.

Let me give you an example: I was watching the news the other day, and one doctor was talking about the odds of a “cardiac event”. I thought, that’s funny, it’s no longer a “cardiac incident”, a term which contains a negative word. So the good doctors coined a more neutral term, almost non-descriptive, to describe a freaking situation where your heart goes berserk and chances are you will die in a few second. And while you’re struggling on the floor for what may be your last breath, you’re thinking: ah, that’s the cardiac event that my good doctor was talking about.

So we at CGI are using a very elaborate lexicon for saying things somewhat differently, while stating that integrity is still a corporate value on which our company is built. Negative growth (rather than declining revenues), rationalizing excessive real estate (rather than termination or firing), I mean we really work hard to come up with this stuff don’t think for one second that it is easy. Every press release goes through several writing phases where we bend, alter and twist words, challenge ourselves in brainstorming sessions to come up with new terms that depict positive things.

And even after all this work is done, we still have to put down disclaimers such as this one:

The words “believe,” “estimate,” “expect,” “intend,” “anticipate,” “foresee,” “plan,” and similar expressions and variations thereof, identify certain of such forward-looking statements or forward-looking information, which speak only as of the date on which they are made

In other words, we said something on that day, and now it’s another day, and the world-as-we-know-it is entirely different so the statement is now all bull. Well it was accurate until 11:59PM on that day. At midnight the world goes thru a giant shaker and the financial reality is completely altered. Actually if you’re still up before midnight, check out CNBC as the clock goes through 12:00. All the numbers change. They switch their staff at midnight, because the evening staff cannot wrap their minds on the new financial reality, a new team comes in and makes a fresh assessment of the situation.

No wonder we all sleep at night.