What a way to start 2011

I bumped into one of my way-too-many VP this morning in the coffee room, he said he was interviewing a DBA with 10 years of experience who was interested in a position at CGI. Feeling full of energy - and wearing my favorite crossword-puzzle tie - I said I wanted to talk to this young fellow who I'm sure would be impressed to talk the CEO in person.

The guy was in his early 30s, had solid experience with Oracle and a bunch of other database-related technology. The resume looked good, meaning I could sell this guy with a fat margin to a client. But something wasn't right, and I could not pinpoint what it was. No, it was not body piercings.

I go, young man why do you want to work at CGI?

The guy goes, well it's a good company and it's making the headlines on a regular basis, new contracts, stock is up, I mean this is where I'd like to be.

I go, let me ask you a question junior, this is not your first job right? You are experienced, like Jimi used to say. What happened with your former employer?

The guy goes, name's Mitchell sir. My previous employer was a good one but my career was not going in the direction that I wanted to go. We are leaving in good terms.

I go, junior I hope I'm breaking any news to you, but you're not really managing your so-called career, I hope you know that by now right? A career is just a linear sequence of different tasks, and your employer is the one calling the shots. Anyway, what was your prior salary?

The guy says, I was making $55 000 and among my benefits I had...

Knowing where this loaded train of crap was heading, I cut short to the point and go, junior I'm offering you $50 000, and consider this a generous offer.

The guy goes, what, you're offering less than I was doing before?

I go, that's right young man, I'm not paying what the stupid market is paying, I always bid under the current price, therefore I lower my average member salary.

The guy goes, I'm worth more than 50K, I know what my skills are and if you're not willing to pay me at least $55K I'll just go elsewhere.

At that point an uncomfortable silence took place in the windowless meeting room. I just stared at the young candidate, computing how much earning he could provide me with until the end of the quarter.

After less than a minute, junior gave up. All right, $50K is a deal.

I go, let's settle for $48K then. HR will bring you the paperwork in the next 15 minutes and you'll be ready to start. You should be billable to a project within the next hour or - what's his name - Mr. VP here will take the loss personally. Right?

The VP was sweating like hell and the young DBA was livid, he goes, we had a deal for $50K, how come you're lowering your offer?

I stood up and pushed my chair. $47K, last offer.

I swear I could hear his blood pressure rising when he acknowledged. All right, all right, I get it. Where do I sign?

I gave a pat on the VP's stiff shoulder who was sitting next to me and probably mortified to hear my negotiation skills. You see, this is how we manage business here. Have a great day.

Next in line.