The King of Creative Accounting is seen here as he explains that the universe will eventually collapse into a sphere the size of a melon, at which point fundamental particles will break down and everything will turn into a warm bowl of quarks. Raymond was quick to demonstrate that the public debt will not matter at this point, whatever will remain of Moody's will be irrelevant and - most importantly - everyone will be happy. So go spend your discretionary money while there's still time, he said.
A few journalists scratched their head but no one challenged the physics behind this.
Happy Raymond then explained to this fans in a casual tone that the annual deficit - not the debt - is apparently lower than expected. This comes as a total surprise, considering that he raised the provincial tax by 2 points during the past 24 months, that he also raised taxes on gasoline, that wines & spirits sold by the Quebec government are prohibitively expensive, just to name a few things. Ray then reassured everyone that his administration was the best thing on Earth.
Er.
Imagine yourself on a cruise, as you sip a gin tonic on the upper deck you hear the sound of the captain's voice on the speaker. The ship has hit an iceberg and iced water is rushing inside the hull. Some harsh critics on board theorize that the ship could be sinking, considering that water cannot enter a ship indefinitely, but the entire staff reassures passengers that everything is under control. To prove the point, captain Raymond "The Unsinkable" Bachand holds a small press conference in the ballroom.
"There are good news", says the jolly captain. "We managed to patch some of the holes and the ship is now sinking at a lower rate". Everyone in the audience gives the captain a round of applause. "It's true that we used body parts from casualties to fill those holes, but is was limited to middle class passengers. It is normal to ask of those to contribute their fair share so the ship doesn't go down. Rest assured, lower class passengers will not be asked to contribute". The crowd erupted in joy.
"But there's more!" says Captain Bachand. "We dispatched more staff with buckets in the lower decks, and everyone is hard at work to remove the water. Within the next 2 years we should be able to evacuate as much water out as it is coming in, this will be a terrific achievement!"
The crowd cheered and raised their glasses of champagne to the well-being of the smart commander of the ship, and sang loudly : Ride, captain ride, upon your mystery ship. Be amazed, at the friends, you have here on your trip.
Find your lifejacket before the government prohibits them.
