No iPhone for CGI members

We learned yesterday that Bell will launch its new high-speed packet access (HSPA) network next month, and to celebrate this event Bell customers might be able to offer the iPhone to its angry customers. It’s not official yet, but everyone can imagine Bell is eager to whack Rogers and its iPhone monopoly. Telus might join the fight soon as well.

Of course I expect my mailbox to be full by the end of the day with requests from CGI members asking to get an iPhone from Bell as soon as it comes out. CGI members get their company phone from Bell since they are a client of us. You scratch our back, we scratch yours, it's like business is done.

What’s wrong, don’t you like your Canadian-made Blackberry? I like my Blackberry, since it allows me to send e-mail to my staff during the night and I expect them to read it of course.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the iPhone is a nifty piece of technology but it doesn’t fully serve the CGI mission. For one thing, there’s no enterprise server. And the enterprise server is yet another excuse to sell consultants to a customer. Remove the server, and you remove possible revenues. I hate that.

So before you send me e-mail stating your love of Apple technology, consider the impact of the iPhone on CGI. Meditate on this for a while. Could a less expensive technology better serve our dream and mission? What about our partnership with Microsoft? Could Steve Ballmer be offended by our attitude toward Apple? At a time when CGI might sold for a large sum of money. Hum?

Think about that before you bug me with your childish requests. Please.

We're here! We're here!

Those guys at Seeking Alpha deserve a round of applause for boosting CGI's visibility. Read here. Money quote: Dell valued Perot at $30 a share, which represents trailing multiples of 30x price earnings, 1.56x revenue and 13x EBITDA. Using the same multiples for CGI would mean a takeout price between $20-$30 (Canadian - the shares were trading for $12.84 Monday afternoon).

Holy Jumping Catfish! 30 bucks !

Steve Ballmer never called me back, maybe I should e-mail him this link don't you think? That would set a opening price for negotiations. I need to talk to those Cisco guys, which reminds me something. A guy called my office the other day, I thought he was trying to sell me switches and I told him to get lost. His name was Chambers, and now this name rings a bell...

Steve Ballmer called me

Ever since Perot Systems was eaten by Dell, the phone is ringing all the time with potential buyers for CGI. I mean, this is flattering but it takes lots of my time.

The legendary Microsoft CEO called me this morning, at first I thought we had forget to pay for our Gold certification, but no Stevie wanted to talk business. So you want to sell the barn, huh? We at Microsoft could be the best fit you know, we sell software to large corporations, and you rent slaves to the same customers, so you know maybe CGI and Microsoft could merge, of course you’d be renamed Microsoft Professional Services and we’d give you 3 times your salary and you’d report to me directly.

I must admit I was seriously tempted by the offer, I could picture Ballmer and myself touring our BUs with a classic monkey dance, daring our offices to raise their contribution to 20%. Microsoft/CGI would be a perfect alliance.

Ballmer reminded me that we shall consume our mutual love very fast, not wait for months like Jerry Yang did, because he’s now mowing lawn in Mountain View and Yahoo is the next Netscape so to speak. Microsoft Professional Service, Ballmer said, could be the flagship division that will push Windows 7 into all corporations. It’s so fucking complex to install, he said, we’ll make a bundle by selling hundreds of IT guys along with a single “Entreprise Edition” box. Software is just an excuse to shove high priced consultants down the customer throat, it was not Bill’s vision but I’m running the Death Star now. Then Ballmer exploded with a Mwahahahahaha laugh that sent chills to my spine.

Think about it Roach boy, he said, Redmond will be a nice place for you. And he promised he would call back in a week.