Dear FakeMike, my client is completely nuts and our team morale is sinking to new lows every day. We get conflicting messages from the director, vague scope of work and we get wacked for nothing. The client expects us to deliver unreasonable work within extra-short time, yet his own employees are doing literally nothing except smoking outside the building, chatting in the coffee room and bitching about consultants. I think the urinals get more attention from the organization than us. This is hell. Mike from BC.
What's your question young man, do you seek professional advice on lavatory equipment or are you just whining about a situation that is clearly outside your control?
Rest assured, neurosis is more prevalent inside today's organization than one might think. Doctors estimate that 20-30% of today's workforce run on prescription drugs, and we're not talking about blood pressure here. Simply said, people are just nuts. And nuttiness is not limited to the usual suspects, like government workers, CDO traders or whores. It's everywhere, in every corner where people work for a living. They have infiltrated every level, every field, regardless of salary or responsibilities. It is a global freak show.
If you ask me, I'm totally fascinated by the fact that society in general can hold itself together in one more or less coherent thing, considering the prevalence of loose-cannon control-freak delusional zombies. We should normally nail a few 2 by 4 on our door to prevent the crazy from entering our house and office, à la Vincent Price. Seriously. It's a miracle that we not enter a devolution stage and go back to the ocean where we came from in the first place. Clams do not use Sharepoint or Lotus Notes, this might be why they're so happy.
We also must understand one important aspect of being a consultant. Consultants are like whipping boys (and girls) inside a company, directors can whack them just the fun of it, they can persecute them just to make their day more enjoyable and have something to gloat about at the next meeting. Cruelty is within human nature. Project goes out of rail? Blame the consultants. Why is that so? It’s because consultants cannot complain to their union leader or HR because they are “external” resources. They are literally powerless, and nothing brings more fun to dumb people than to exploit smart people with no possible administrative rebound. It’s like crushing a cricket with your boots and saying, Oh I’m sorry little fella and then looking for more crickets.
Like I preached to you before, you must leverage from this illogical out-of-control state and leverage nuttiness to increase your billing rate. What you deliver is irrelevant, even you run in circle for years, even if the client crushes you as long as the fucker pays the invoice we send. Money talks and PSA manages. The situation won’t change. So why not build profitable growth on it? It's like manure, it stinks but it can be used to great benefits.
So pinch your nose young man, take a shovel and bill 40 hours a week. The firm will take care of the rest.
Roach out.
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