Born to be mild

I find it hard not to call HR every day and remind them that the key to a stable workforce is to attract people with low ambitions. Don't get me wrong, success comes hardworking smart people, I'm not talking about hiring low-watt people with the IQ of a toothbrush here.

Having said that, there's a fine line between being smart and being obnoxious, and from my experience it's important to apply a fine filter during interviews to screen out potential pains-in-the-butt.

Let me give you an example, I was interviewing a guy in his 20's this morning for an internal position. He had a piercing over his left eyebrow, and the stone reflected the sun coming from the window in such a way that I was hosed by a rainbow of photons as he tilted his head. 10 degrees left, the spectrum shifted from red to yellow. Very distracting, I wondered what kind of psychological problems pushed him to perforate his eyebrow. His personal issues - although probably manageable for now - might lead to long term disabilities and heavy medication, 10 years down the road, something I'm not willing to pay.

And then my mind drifted to what might be the cost of this piercing, and how this money could have been used to buy a few shares of GIB.TO. Like I said, it was distracting.

Despite his fringe appearance, this Gen Y had a solid resume full of obscure technologies that I don't jack about but for which customers are wiling to pay a premium.

The interview was going well when I tossed the question "Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?" Usually people freak out or they answer a great line of bullshit where they hope to contribute to even greater projects and have more "fun" doing it. Like if.

The guy hesitated from a mere second before answering "Well you know I'd like to be CEO someday when you'll retire, I really see myself in your position. Being autocratic is one sure to score in life, isn't it?"

HR told me later that day that I had voided the warranty of the document shredder in the room since I had used it for a purpose fundamentally different from the one it was designed for. And it could obviously not be repaired. Oh, well.

Point is, you want to hire mild-mannered yet brilliant people who are so afraid of climbing the corporate ladder that they experience real physiological vertigo when you talk about "increased responsibilities". Those candidates should be convinced that the glass ceiling is so thick that it would take a handful of lifetimes and nuclear devices to get through it. With enough bureaucratic defence in place, people will start working instead of dreaming of a sunny future with a corner office and a bombshell admin.

People with immoderate ambitions are bound to fragment their focus, therefore lowering their productivity which is bad. When an employee think about his career, he's not thinking about how to solve deep IT infrastructure problems, therefore he's not contributing to profitable growth, and therefore he's not worthy. And those who are not worthy well we all know how they end.

Are you worthy? Then get back to work now.

Not the sharpest knives

The average intellectual capacity of a typical human is grossly overrated, and in my opinion most management books fail to adress this fundamental issue before embarking into smart theories about how corporations can reach higher levels.

Bozosity is so present in our society that we fail to notice it unless we take some time and gain perspective. People are just plain dumb. It's probably why government works so well, it starts from the basic assumption that individuals are not smarter than the toothbrush they use. Most people can easily be led into false assumptions, dubious projects and unprofitable activities.

A group of smart people - which by definition is extremely small - does not need to be managed per se, their intellectual capacities are sufficient by themselves. This is why our founding fathers - Serge and André - were able to jumpstart this company and quickly build the foundation for an IT empire that could last a millennia.

As you want to increase the size of your company and augment revenues, you need to actually hire people to do the work while you sit in your office and sip Canadian Club while scanning your balance sheet. Problem is, the pool of "A" people is so small that you can't go very far before you hit a snag.

You compromise by hiring "B" people who are not so bad but are not as sharp as the First Ones. It's still manageable at this point, the company structure is lean but you spend some time in management activities that you would not spend otherwise if you had a team of aces.

As the company grows, you are faced with the dilemma of refusing potential profitable contracts or hiring lower grade employees. This is a turning point for many corporations. Even B-grade staff is not very common. When you interview C-grade and even lower grade candidates your mind struggles with the idea of accepting such life forms into your company. They require a heavy structure to operate, policies, guidelines, processes, forms, etc. This is a difficult situation to accept, but one night you work out the numbers and it makes financial sense to hire lower-grade staff even though you need to invest in HR and other unbillable personnel. Excel does not lie.

Once you crossed that river, nature takes its course and you can hire all kind of sub-prime people as long as you can bill them to a customer. You'll be amazed how much crap can be sold so easily, especially on the government side. They’ll ask for more! Your company structure can contains all those average and mediocre individuals, much like a bowl can handle solid food or liquid. Put a robust lid on top and you’re good to go.

Next week I'll discuss how to handle a mixed-bag of different people grade when it comes to middle management. Roach out.

I am the observer

I've been doing this for a year now and nobody - even the SEC bean counters - have ever noticed. Did ya? Well, with season 2 starting tomorrow it was obvious to me that I should disclose to my board that I have a sideline job. Serge fell out of his chair when I told him this morning, he was a show regular but never noticed the resemblance.

Yes folks, I was cast as "The Observer" in Fringe, and you'll see my face and shining skull all through season 2. Why me? To be honest, I was bored to death about 2 years ago and I needed something to spice up by tedious CEO life. A friend of mine who works in Hollywood called me one day, saying they were looking for a bald guy for a new sci-fi drama on Fox, and he thought I would be the perfect dude. Hold on, I said, I'm the CEO of an international IT company, I am extremely busy, I've got people to meet, places to go and...

... and then my secretary came into my office, carrying about 500 expense reports I had to approve. This is regular CEO duty at CGI, trust me. When you spend a dime, it goes through me. I check everything. So I looked at the pile of paper, and said to my friend: Sure, I can fly over to L.A. this afternoon.

And the rest is history. Frankly, I was expecting to play a more active role during the first season. my character doesn't talk much. Filming the scene where I ate the jalapeno sandwich was kind of fun too, although it took a few shots before I could do it without showing any expression on my face. My gums are still sensitive. So anyway, between the shots, I tried to lure the some of the cast members into taking an active role at CGI since we have a high turnover rate. I saw John Noble as a PM somewhere in a government project (one that has derailed multiple times, those are the best). Nah, he said. Too much fun working on TV. Plus, he said, cinnamon buns are never served fresh in a government building.

I think he was joking.

A bright future in a dimly lit office

Being a CEO means finding astute ways to lure clueless college students into the glorious path of IT. A few years ago in 1998 when I came to this company, hiring was a piece of cake. Everyone was so fascinated by the Internet, Marc Andreessen was making the cover of Time and every retard in town was just giddy to send their first e-mail. To top that, we had the Y2K issue on our side. This, my friends, was even better than the H1N1 flu in term of panic. People were freaking out and building themselves bunkers in the desert to isolate themselves from the imaginary disaster. So in the middle of this perfect storm, we were able to hire almost every living creature with a diploma, tag them on an IT project and rack the money. Being an IT CEO in those days was so easy, I was almost ashamed to cash my paycheck.

Fast forward to 2009, the economy is crashing hard and the IT world is 20 times more complex and - truth to be told - people are not 20 times smarter. If you doubt my word, go spend an hour on FaceBook. So we're doing our very best to attract those Gen Y youths into our company. And it's not easy, believe me. The other day one of my director was interviewing a young guy in his early 20's for a job as a .NET programmer. I popped into the meeting just the fun of making my director uncomfortable, and I took a hard look at the young guy.

White shorts, black t-shirt with some kind of a slogan on it, greasy long hair, a goatee and an earring. I cut through the interview. Listen, I said to the young guy, this job involves meeting with customers to assess their needs, draft some diagrams, code something, you know, so it's important to look good. And looking good means wearing a freaking suit and shaving.

The guy fought back and said: listen, bald dude, I'm the top programmer in my class and I know more about .NET than anyone else, so chill out okay? Then he tried to negotiate a salary way above what my VPs are doing, he wanted a mountain bike as a signing bonus and one Xbox 360 station in his office to "unwind after a day's work". I said, listen punk, this company is not a dorm room and you've gotta get serious if you want to work here. This is Montreal okay, you're not in Mountain View and the Google circus. The guy looked at me, said I was so totally uncool, my company sucked because there were no espresso machines, and got out of the room.

Where is our world heading?