Born to be mild

I find it hard not to call HR every day and remind them that the key to a stable workforce is to attract people with low ambitions. Don't get me wrong, success comes hardworking smart people, I'm not talking about hiring low-watt people with the IQ of a toothbrush here.

Having said that, there's a fine line between being smart and being obnoxious, and from my experience it's important to apply a fine filter during interviews to screen out potential pains-in-the-butt.

Let me give you an example, I was interviewing a guy in his 20's this morning for an internal position. He had a piercing over his left eyebrow, and the stone reflected the sun coming from the window in such a way that I was hosed by a rainbow of photons as he tilted his head. 10 degrees left, the spectrum shifted from red to yellow. Very distracting, I wondered what kind of psychological problems pushed him to perforate his eyebrow. His personal issues - although probably manageable for now - might lead to long term disabilities and heavy medication, 10 years down the road, something I'm not willing to pay.

And then my mind drifted to what might be the cost of this piercing, and how this money could have been used to buy a few shares of GIB.TO. Like I said, it was distracting.

Despite his fringe appearance, this Gen Y had a solid resume full of obscure technologies that I don't jack about but for which customers are wiling to pay a premium.

The interview was going well when I tossed the question "Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?" Usually people freak out or they answer a great line of bullshit where they hope to contribute to even greater projects and have more "fun" doing it. Like if.

The guy hesitated from a mere second before answering "Well you know I'd like to be CEO someday when you'll retire, I really see myself in your position. Being autocratic is one sure to score in life, isn't it?"

HR told me later that day that I had voided the warranty of the document shredder in the room since I had used it for a purpose fundamentally different from the one it was designed for. And it could obviously not be repaired. Oh, well.

Point is, you want to hire mild-mannered yet brilliant people who are so afraid of climbing the corporate ladder that they experience real physiological vertigo when you talk about "increased responsibilities". Those candidates should be convinced that the glass ceiling is so thick that it would take a handful of lifetimes and nuclear devices to get through it. With enough bureaucratic defence in place, people will start working instead of dreaming of a sunny future with a corner office and a bombshell admin.

People with immoderate ambitions are bound to fragment their focus, therefore lowering their productivity which is bad. When an employee think about his career, he's not thinking about how to solve deep IT infrastructure problems, therefore he's not contributing to profitable growth, and therefore he's not worthy. And those who are not worthy well we all know how they end.

Are you worthy? Then get back to work now.