What should I buy?

My friends, I'm a CEO (a fake one, but a CEO nonetheless), and I talk. This is what I do folks, I talk a lot. Check here. I am announcing that I plan to go a shopping binge with a two billion dollar bill in my wallet. Money quote: “We have the

What company should I buy in order to push my company forward, to boldly go where no outsourcing company has gone before? Serge says there are plenty of generic soulless IT companies outthere that could be bought for a song. What should be the criteria, I asked him? Well, one thing is for sure he said, target companies whose name is a 3 or 4 letter acronym at most. Trendy names are bad, he said, they mean people actually think - and that's a bad start when you're negotiating.

Check out for poorly done logo, cheap company font, non descript Web site. Those should be the target. Favor public company, because you can check out the face of management team, and that says a lot. Generic faces and hairstyle, people who actually look like they've been cast for a management clipart CD. Being bald (and proudly so), I said to Serge, but wait, should we disregard a potential takeover by considering a CEO hairstyle? Serge just nodded, running a hand through his impeccable greying hair. Mike, he said, we want to integrate people who will never question our authority, we want them to be part of the "collective" (I wonder where this expression comes from).

I need your suggestions, folks, what company should we buy? If it was for me, I would buy a movie studio because they are so cool and I could make a great action movie instead of negotiating endless details in an outsourcing contract, but Serge won't let me. Sigh.