Dear members, I'm coming up with more initiatives to increase our profitable growth, and I think you will like it. Working during your daily commute could potentially generate 7% more revenues according to my calculations. I mean, what do you do when you're stuck in traffic? You tune in to some lame FM station that broadcast songs that you've heard a million time already. Or you listen to some talk radio where some meaningless topic is debated to great length just to fill the space between commercials. Meaning, your focus during those 30-60 minutes is totally lost. It's gone. Puf. An hour of your life just vanished into thin air without generating more revenues for our company.
My master plan is to coerce employees to participate in brainstorming session during their daily commute. I need more ideas to make mountains of cash. So we will set up these forums in our intranet where members have to submit ideas on a daily basis. If you don't suggest anything, well, we'll punish you of course. In a gentle way. Like your salary raise next spring? You know, you might get a negative raise. Like -5%.
Obviously those forums will be available through SERA, meaning you'll have to authenticate 3 times while driving, the SharePoint forums will use a different ID that is inconsistent with the ones you already have. I know it's a pain, but hey - we're a technology company.
If your commute involves the subway and you can't get any signal, well maybe it's time for you to reconsider your public transit options to help the company prosper.
Which brings to me to my last point. You're responsible for providing the device to access the forums, no we won't provide you iPhones or Blackberries or any other insanely expensive devices. I know your cheap Nokia doesn't support HTML, it's not my problem okay?
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