Managing like a pro

When you’re in the driving seat, you don’t poll all the passengers before you switch lane or take the next exit. Or switch radio station. Or use the wipers. You just do it.

A CEO has to take decisions that are sometimes unpleasant for the majority of the staff. But there's a noble cause behind all the accounting torture that CEOs put their organization through. The cause is profitability. CGIers know that I am devoting my life to profitable growth, and no detail is too small for the cause.

Don’t do like Raymond, minister of Finance & Happiness, whose government is bleeding billions of red ink and yet at the same totally unable to lower his expense under a 3.2% increase for the next fiscal year. Yes, that’s right, he’s been challenged by sound economic experts to keep his expense growth at 2.5% and the official word is that is it impossible without compromising the government core mission. Yeah, right.

Look at the picture above and ask yourself: Would you buy a used car from this man?

Raymond and his liberal friends are so full of bull it’s hard to believe they can contain so much. If CGI was deep in trouble and my CFO would show up in my office telling me, Mike sorry our total expenditure still has to grow 3.2% this year despite the fact that our financial statements look like a horror flick, what would I do? There’s a hardwood bookcase in my office where I keep a few mementos. I would grab the heavy ’08 golf trophy on top the bookcase and I would use it to beat my CFO until I hear the following words: WE WILL LOWER EXPENSES.

This is why dear members a CEO has have balls sometimes, big ones. You have to ditch the dickheads that keep saying it is impossible. You have to pound your fists on your desk and scream until the secretary starts to cry. You need to take control of the situation and take action. You need to walk around the office with a baseball bat until the bottom line displays black numbers, because if you don’t do it, the shareholders will bang on your door and ask for your resignation.

Unfortunately Raymond is not that kind of guy. This union-friendly sissy wants to be happy, he wants to be re-elected in 3 years and the ride has to be a smooth one. And the since the opposition party is staffed with dimwits and retards, there's a good chance Rain Man can pursue his uneventful career for a long time. Taxpayers do not behave like shareholders, let me tell you that.

But reality sometimes knocks on your door. I pray for that day to come.