Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Harold Camping fucked the faithful

Back in August, I warned you that the end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it was a hoax. Despite my warnings, some members just went nuts and announced their resignation on May 20th. Since the so-called rapture would have occurred over the week-end and the nice persons would take a short non-stop flight to the Pearly Gate and the subpar souls would suffer hell until the termination of Earth on Oct. 21st.

Interestingly enough, those same members came back on Monday morning and tried to act like their religious delusion never happened. It was just funny, it was an invitation to tease them.

Note to self: those members will gladly accept a 0% raise on their yearly meeting. Ask HR to come up with a catchy paragraph that says something like You're a total douchebag and as a result we'll assign you to difficult projects where you'll get waked.

And in case you've not noticed, Harold screwed the whole camping and then some, rumor goes that this snakeoil salesman from God has a personal fortune of $18M.

Camping The First should have learned from the industry best practices that profitable growth works best when the business model is a sustainable one. True, the sucker is 89 years old and he could blow a valve anytime. But still, this con artist should have learned from best-of-class dickheads such as Ron Hubbard whose organization still screws the faithfuls after his death.

That my friend is what separate the street thiefs from grand criminals. Harry the Happy Camper is just a wimp, a man of limited intellect who ensured that his credibility was bar none by predicting the end of the world too soon.

If CampyHarry had 2 once of brain, he'd announced the destruction of the world at least 100 years from now, therefore ensuring a steady stream of clueless donations from believers. Thanks to compounding interests and shrewd investments such as this great Canadian IT company on the TSX (wink, wink), he could have built a lasting empire.

Better yet, he could have built a legitimate front to his organization, I don't know like IT consulting (totally random choice) where the faithful do something even more profitable. You know the world's about to end, instead of going berserk and blowing your savings account on a stupid billboard next to the highway, do your family a service and bring a paycheck home in the meantime. If the rapture takes place sooner, we'll send you an SMS.

Watch Harry as he prepares an escape before Oct 21.

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