It's the same fucking problem year after year after year. As the warmer days of springs knock on our doors, there is this uncontrollable tendency especially in young men and woman to dress with questionable pieces of clothing in the office.
And each year, as we move closer to the summer equinox, HR feels obligated to remind the youngsters that summer dresses, camis, and Hawaiian shorts are not precisely compatible with our line of business and could potentially impact our financial quarter. If we don't do anything, the whole office will look like the set of a Daytona spring break.
Can you imagine the conservative CIO of one of our client, let's say in the financial services industry with billions in assets, watching with horror as unshaved consultants dressed in a Tommy Bahamas fashion troll in the hallway with their flip-flops making squeaky sounds?
Holy Mackerel, I thought for a second that I was back in the Hamptons in July. Who are those guys anyway? Consultants? They wear yellow bermudas for Pete sake. I can't believe it, what is the name of the consulting firm? See jee what? Well I'll be damned if I don't sack them right now, Charlene hold my calls for an hour, I need to blow some steam.
Next thing you know, we miss earning estimates by 10 cents because of a single individual's inappropriate choice of wardrobe.
I once thought of imposing a corporate uniform but HR told me this might lead to unions, so I dropped the ball. But I kept some sketches on file just in case.
Nevertheless, I strongly advise you to dress for business, and business does not mean renting umbrellas on the beach.
Wearing a 3-piece suit is never overdressed no matter what line of work you do, even during blistering hot summer days in downtown Montreal where women stilettos leave deep dents in the asphalt on St-Denis.
The conservative CIO will be highly impressed to see you reviewing the firewall rules if you're dressed sharply without being provocative.
This young man here reminds me of myself when I was in my 20's, boy does this bring back fond memories when I was working for RBC. A tie every day, starched collar. Charlene, what is the daily rate of this gentleman here? How much? Sweet Mary, this is so cheap it is insulting. Call the consulting firm and say we'll pay 40% more for keeping this sharply-dressed lad. And we're extending him, we can't afford to lose previous resources like him. I should present him to my daughter too.
So ditch your North Face wardrobe today and get yourself some decent summer clothes that will speak for you and the firm. Call Harry, tell him I send you. And please don't act like some of your friends who buy shirts 4 size too small, you need to breathe.
Roach out.
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