Cast away

The CGI annual tour is no excuse for skip my weekly therapy, so I had a long conference call with Paul from my hotel in London. I literally have a bag of ice sitting on my head, thanks to the generosity of our CGI members in Poland. I asked my therapist to speak very softly, the faucet in the hotel bathroom is leaking and it’s making an awful lot of noise.

Back to the therapy. I have the strong impression that Paul is trying to use our sessions for me to say repressed feelings that I have toward my middle managers. This time he asked me how VPs were picked, in other words who were the worthy to get a corner office.

I used a metaphor to depict the different stages of promotion at CGI by comparing how Tom Hanks escaped the deserted island in “Cast Away”. Paul thought it was a funny idea and encouraged me to expand on that.

When you are a regular employee, you live on an island totally isolated from the world. We call you a member but you’re really all alone by yourself. You imagine what the CGI world is like, but you really don’t have a clue because we’re not allowing you this perspective except through press releases and carefully written intranet news.

When you’re a director, you’re like on a cheap raft trying to fight the crashing waves near the shore. You want to escape the island, but chances are the tsunami of red tape will push back on the shore. That is, unless you’re very persistent. Not bright, but persistent. It might take 20 years of suffering and humiliation but eventually you might get through. Sometimes the odds will be so stacked against you and no matter how much you brownnose upper management the waves will always push you back.

When you’re a VP, this means you were able to pass through the brutal forces of the crashing bureaucratic waves and you’re now floating on your raft on the ocean. It’s quiet, you don’t have to work as much unless a storm comes by (like, revenues are declining). You can drift like this your entire career, as long as your business unit sends us a fair share of its revenues - it’s okay with us.

When you migrate from VP status to a more powerful position at CGI headquarter, it’s like your raft was picked up by a luxurious yacht owned by a billionaire. You drink champagne in a spa surrounded by bimbos, you enjoy the good life and the world could go down in flame you couldn’t care less. You made it to the top (well almost) and you deserve such treatment because you were a good soldier all your professional lfe.

Bottom line is, middle management is like anything starting with “middle”, it’s an unstable position and the forces of nature work against you. But it’s for your own good, I see this challenge as a character test. I mean, you can stay on the island all your life, nobody forces you to escape it. Want to escape the island? Well, you’d better enjoy the taste of salty water.

Same time next Sunday asked Paul? Of course I said. Sigh.